well, I hadn't realised I turned into the Empire State Building overnight.

I think Jack has finally dropped the whole "can I have a bike?" or "can I at least have a monster truck?" shit, thank God. I don't think I could have taken much more of that without grabbing a spoon from the kitchen drawer and spooning my eyeballs out slowly for Jack to watch. That's how fucking evil I am. Get used to it ;)


Now, my main focus is on Daisy, who's just started kindergarten. She actually started on Tuesday, but I didn't get round to posting until now (I bet you've all been waiting in suspense). 


She enjoyed it this week. On her first day I took her there, my heart in my mouth and spilling out onto the steering wheel and windshield. Well, it didn't, obviously, but you get what I mean - I was fucking bricking it.
Daisy seemed fine. I think she just thought we were going on some pretty outing to the butterfly maze and Dairy Queen or something, so she was singing random theme tunes to her TV programs. 


We stopped outside in the parking lot and got out. 

"Mummy, what is this?" she asked as she hopped out of the car with her little bag on her shoulder. 


"Kindergarten," I replied. "The place you've wanted to go for weeks. Remember?"


It took her a while but she finally nodded and grinned, baring her small teeth. 


"Come on," I said, holding her hand and walking beside her as she skipped merrily through the doors. 


There was a polite-looking teacher standing by the doorway in a black skirt and white blouse, with matching lace shoes. 


"Hi, I'm Miss Green, the kindergarten teacher," she said, smiling. "And who are you, little one?"


Daisy grinned. "Daisy."


"Oh, right! I've been expecting you! We're just having a little play in the sandpit {thanks very much, love, but I'd rather she learnt here at SCHOOL than play in a sandpit. She can do that at home.}. How about you say bye to Mummy then go inside and play?"


Daisy kissed my cheek, waved and ran inside the classroom. 


"What time do I pick her up?" I asked, realising I was towering over her like the Empire State (and no, I wasn't even wearing fucking heels - she was. Something weird is going on) and trying my hardest to avoid that situation and looking down at her. 


"3pm," Miss Green replied, looking up at me awkwardly as if you would a giraffe at the fucking zoo. Way to keep it subtle that I'm a giant. 


"Okay," I said, and turned to leave. I assumed that was it - she'd play in the sandpit all day, maybe go outside to play in the sandpit out there, have her lunch and juicebox that I packed and I'd pick her up at 3pm to go home.


"Wait. Where are you going?" she asked. 


"Um... home."


What was I supposed to say? I didn't know kindergarten came with a package deal of a questionnaire - it didn't with Jack.


"I thought you were helping out."


Whoa, whoa. Rewind. Help out? When had I agreed to that? I sure as hell didn't agree to it over the phone or when I'd gone to the meet and greet at this school, and I don't think I signed a law agreement about it. 


"Um... am I?"


I was beginning to sound like a record stuck on playback. 


"If you would like to."


Well, no. Not really. I don't like kids apart from my own or my own's friends. That's about it. 


"Um... well, I'm quite busy today. I'm doing the laundry. And work. From home. Sorry."


Miss Green smiled and dismissed me as if I were one of the kids.


As I walked out I realised how awkward that was. Well. At least I had 6 hours of peace before returning.