well, I hadn't realised I turned into the Empire State Building overnight.

I think Jack has finally dropped the whole "can I have a bike?" or "can I at least have a monster truck?" shit, thank God. I don't think I could have taken much more of that without grabbing a spoon from the kitchen drawer and spooning my eyeballs out slowly for Jack to watch. That's how fucking evil I am. Get used to it ;)


Now, my main focus is on Daisy, who's just started kindergarten. She actually started on Tuesday, but I didn't get round to posting until now (I bet you've all been waiting in suspense). 


She enjoyed it this week. On her first day I took her there, my heart in my mouth and spilling out onto the steering wheel and windshield. Well, it didn't, obviously, but you get what I mean - I was fucking bricking it.
Daisy seemed fine. I think she just thought we were going on some pretty outing to the butterfly maze and Dairy Queen or something, so she was singing random theme tunes to her TV programs. 


We stopped outside in the parking lot and got out. 

"Mummy, what is this?" she asked as she hopped out of the car with her little bag on her shoulder. 


"Kindergarten," I replied. "The place you've wanted to go for weeks. Remember?"


It took her a while but she finally nodded and grinned, baring her small teeth. 


"Come on," I said, holding her hand and walking beside her as she skipped merrily through the doors. 


There was a polite-looking teacher standing by the doorway in a black skirt and white blouse, with matching lace shoes. 


"Hi, I'm Miss Green, the kindergarten teacher," she said, smiling. "And who are you, little one?"


Daisy grinned. "Daisy."


"Oh, right! I've been expecting you! We're just having a little play in the sandpit {thanks very much, love, but I'd rather she learnt here at SCHOOL than play in a sandpit. She can do that at home.}. How about you say bye to Mummy then go inside and play?"


Daisy kissed my cheek, waved and ran inside the classroom. 


"What time do I pick her up?" I asked, realising I was towering over her like the Empire State (and no, I wasn't even wearing fucking heels - she was. Something weird is going on) and trying my hardest to avoid that situation and looking down at her. 


"3pm," Miss Green replied, looking up at me awkwardly as if you would a giraffe at the fucking zoo. Way to keep it subtle that I'm a giant. 


"Okay," I said, and turned to leave. I assumed that was it - she'd play in the sandpit all day, maybe go outside to play in the sandpit out there, have her lunch and juicebox that I packed and I'd pick her up at 3pm to go home.


"Wait. Where are you going?" she asked. 


"Um... home."


What was I supposed to say? I didn't know kindergarten came with a package deal of a questionnaire - it didn't with Jack.


"I thought you were helping out."


Whoa, whoa. Rewind. Help out? When had I agreed to that? I sure as hell didn't agree to it over the phone or when I'd gone to the meet and greet at this school, and I don't think I signed a law agreement about it. 


"Um... am I?"


I was beginning to sound like a record stuck on playback. 


"If you would like to."


Well, no. Not really. I don't like kids apart from my own or my own's friends. That's about it. 


"Um... well, I'm quite busy today. I'm doing the laundry. And work. From home. Sorry."


Miss Green smiled and dismissed me as if I were one of the kids.


As I walked out I realised how awkward that was. Well. At least I had 6 hours of peace before returning. 

he's got more chance of blowing his brains out with my electric mixer than surviving a skateboard.

Jack is finally back on his feet, and his leg is no longer hurting him anymore, which means I don't have to waste any more paper writing notes to his PE teacher. 


The only bad thing about the fact that he is fully mobile again is, well, that he is fully mobile again.


Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon that he's better again, but that also means that he is probably going to make me suffer now. I'll give you an example of what happened last night after school.


"Mommy, is it Friday today?" he asked as he glared at the bike which was situated in the hallway. 
"Um, yeah, it is... why?"
"Weekend!!" 


At this point I was like, 'okay...' 


"Yeah, it's the weekend, honey. What do you want to do tomorrow?" I asked.


Jack thought about this for a moment.


"Mommy, please say yes..."


Oh, God.


"That depends, Jack. What do you want me to say yes to...?"


Jack held my hands, kissed my cheek and hugged me (suck-ass) before saying, "I want a skateboard, Mommy."


SHIT.


"You want a skateboard? But you just got a bike."


"Bike is evil. I want a skateboard. Please Mommy!"


I actually considered it, which is pretty weird of me.


"Sorry, Jack, but I'm not getting you a skateboard."


"Why not?!" 


I could see a tantrum emerging.


"Because a) you only just got a bike, which cost hundreds of dollars, and b) if you hurt yourself on a bike, you're going to probably re-e-e-e-ally hurt yourself on a skateboard, honey."


Jack thought about this. If he had a beard, he'd be stroking it.


"Okay..."


He got up and walked out of the room.


Finally, peace. I turned the volume up on my Nurse Jackie box-set and relaxed back on the couch. 


Then Jack's head peeped round the doorway again.


"Mommy, what about a motorcycle?"


Whoa, back up the truck. Did my son just ask for a motorcycle? I hope I'm just fucking hearing things, otherwise I'll go freak-o.